No Place Like Nowhere

By Burton Bumgarner
Cast: Flexible cast of 21 (about 7M, 5F plus 9 that can be either), optional doubling
Set: Area staging
Time: About 80 minutes
Pioneer Drama Service

What is there to do in the middle of Nowhere? Just ask a temperamental movie star, the paparazzi, secret agents, a crooked congressman and two brothers putting on a two-man production of Romeo and Juliet! Years ago, a corrupt congressman promised a highway to the desert town of Nowhere, Nevada, but it missed their town by 200 miles, making rival Rattle Snake City the benefactor. Now the government has 500 tons of toxic waste they need to store somewhere, so they decide to dump it in Nowhere and send government agents to force the citizens to leave the economically depressed town. Meanwhile, miles away, a movie crew is filming a western when their high-strung star actress walks out on them. She finds herself in Nowhere, where spies, paparazzi and the crooked Congressman Snord soon converge. (Maybe he could get straightened out at Bob’s Tire Store and Chiropractic Clinic, where Bob aligns your wheels and your spine!) Chaos and hilarity reign as the toxic waste is about to be dumped, and the citizens of Nowhere—and your audience—witness possibly the worst performance of Shakespeare ever staged, compliments of the Gass brothers! Is that toxic waste we smell, or is it just the local cuisine? Get ready for tons of fun and an outpouring of laughter with this hysterical romp!